There is nothing wrong in trying to please people who are important in your life and others who may be crucial for your business. Pleasing people actually works. It also comes at a cost, and may not be a good idea at all instances. Studies have proved that trying to please others by doing things that you don’t like can actually cause you a lot of stress and even affect your productivity at work.
The biggest question remains — how to say NO where it matters.
The best thing would be to learn to say ‘no’ once in a while. But, if you think that saying ‘no’ is all that it takes, think again. You have got to refuse something in such a way that you make your point clear and don’t offend or hurt the other party concerned. Here are some tips that will help you to say ‘no’ to things that just don’t seem appropriate.
Identifying the Refusal
Just because you are learning to say ‘no’ does not mean that you go on refusing requests left, right and center. Before you refuse something, make sure to listen to the request completely and attentively and then decide whether you want to do it or not. Sometimes, a person may genuinely be in need of help. Refusing this can actually make you feel guilty. So, refuse only those things which you just don’t think are important.
Appreciate the Belief
When a person requests you for some help, it is just because he or she believes in your ability to solve the problem. However, if you feel that you can’t help the person out, make sure you dress up the refusal in a nice way. Thank the person for the belief shown in you and then explain your inability to extend help. We are mere mortals, after all!
Refuse the Request, Not the Person
That’s the thing! Most times, your refusal to do something might not been taken lightly or viewed in a good light. This could even have adverse effects on your personal and professional relationships. So, when you say ‘no’ to a particular request, it is important that you make it clear to the party concerned that you still respect them for what they are. You refusal to support their request is just your inability and has nothing to do with the way you feel about them.
Give Your Reasons
Obviously, you have a strong reason to have said NO. No matter what, it is extremely crucial that you have a valid reason for the rebuttal of a particular request. Make sure that you explain this reason clearly to the party to ensure a proper closure of the matter.
If you have been saying yes to everything all your life, saying a ‘no’ might not come easily to you. What’s more, you may even crumble at the last minute and agree to the request. So, if you are really serious about learning to refuse, it is important that you build some courage to face the situations that may arise when you say ‘no’.
The aggrieved party whom you rebutted may try to get back to you by refusing to give into the request that you make of them. So, when you learn to refuse others’ requests, make sure that you also learn to accept refusals and rebuttals graciously.
Learning to say ‘no’ may not come easily to you. This requires a lot of time, courage and practice. However, this is one habit that would definitely do more good than you can imagine.